i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
