Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
