found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
