Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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