That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
