i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Your penis caused this!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
