you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize