I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
