Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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