It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
