so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize