Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (353): View more from

  i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (353): i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash http://tfl.nu/bafg
  Replies (22) Good night (5662) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there. http://tfl.nu/bvrv
  Replies (27) Good night (4739) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin http://tfl.nu/b3ck
  Replies (18) Good night (4239) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr
  Replies (31) Good night (7963) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that. http://tfl.nu/r5hc
  Replies (33) Good night (3905) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk http://tfl.nu/yaqj
  Replies (11) Good night (828) Bad night (1839)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l
  Replies (11) Good night (1120) Bad night (1995)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation http://tfl.nu/r6lh
  Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant http://tfl.nu/jhvb
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j
  Replies (11) Good night (425) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them. http://tfl.nu/8xwy
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced http://tfl.nu/afn4
  Replies (5) Good night (1241) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home. http://tfl.nu/5egk
  Replies (4) Good night (654) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity http://tfl.nu/iwon
  Replies (0) Good night (244) Bad night (306)

Randomize