the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?