I'm pants shitting drunk right now
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"