We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
