Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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