im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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