Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
