What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
