When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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