I smell stomach acid.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
