Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
