You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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