WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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