Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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