Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
