your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
sarcasm needs its own font
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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