I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
