Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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