dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
