Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
