Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
