Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
