I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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