your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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