Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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