the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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