i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
