last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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