I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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