Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
