No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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