Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
