doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
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Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.