4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.