youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
