I CAN MOONWALK!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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