I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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