He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
