I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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