guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
