i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Be still, my beating vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
