it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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