based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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