Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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