Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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