Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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