She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
