I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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