I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
