Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
