Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
