His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We got so high we made milksteak
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
