I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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