He uses pillows to masturbate.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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