at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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