Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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