thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
