You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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