Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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