I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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