Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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