Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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