under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
