You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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