He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
