his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize